To Our Last Breath
by Ukaisha
Summary: Sequel to "Perfect Entice." There is no peace in a world of monsters, and in this life, there can be no salvation for twin brothers in love. They have given up. They have ceased trying. They have finally found a solution to end it all; the final one.


Disclaimer: The author takes absolutely no stake or claim on any characters mentioned.  
A/N Updated: It's a little painful to go back here and peel apart this story. I liked it so much at the time, and apparently, so did a lot of other people. It's just a little strange because I haven't been able to properly look at it for something like two years because...I dunno, I was embarrassed by it. After reading it over, I'm amazed at how much someone can develop.  
I've corrected as many of the hideous mistakes as I could; I think my spell/grammar checker nearly had a heart attack. I've rewritten it a little while still trying to hold to the right tone, and its content has doubled in size, from 14 KB to 28 KB. I hope it still packs as much of a punch as I was praying it would three years ago.  
If you liked this story, I recommend checking out its prequel, Perfect Entice. Unfortunately, this is the sequel; this is what happens at the end of the story, and this is the climax of Perfect Entice.  
Why did the sequel come before the prequel?  
God knows.  
But aren't you curious to see how it all went down in the first place?

To Our Last Breath

The devouring blanket of night slowly laid itself upon the city as evening crept into being. Most people, those who weren't afraid of the darkness, scoffed at it and strode into their brightly lit homes, settling in with their loved ones. Even those who were unhappy with the sudden blackness still had their loved ones to tend to, and thus, the darkness affected very few people in very few ways.  
It was a nice, clear night, and the air was fresh, and clean. It was a little cool, and maybe a little too breezy. Usually, the weather seemed to predict the happenings of the night, and if she was rainy and angry, it was more than likely that something terrible would happen. On such a clear, gentle night, one would assume that the night would pass peacefully, with no such torment to bother her.  
Unfortunately, the weather lied tonight. For two, average, ordinary boys, there was no peace.

Minamoto Kouji sat with Kimura Kouichi, tenderly holding his lover, and his brother, close to him. His eyes were closed and his breathing was irregular, and small streams of tears dripped down his cheeks as Kouichi gently inspected the bruises that steadily became darker on his pale body. Kouji's shirt had been removed; or rather what was left of the shirt, for it was ripped, torn and splattered with patches of blood. The blood had been wiped from Kouji's frail and lithe body, but nothing could be done about the black patches. Bruises were fine; bruises would heal. Thank God though; this time, there were no broken bones.  
Kouichi laid his chin on Kouji's shoulder, and they slowly rocked, themselves back and fourth, trying to sooth each other.  
"Does it hurt, 'touto?" Kouichi asked quietly, and Kouji shook his head.  
"No, there's no pain."  
"You're lying," his older brother scolded, his voice barely above a whisper.  
"Nothing new."

Such nights like this were commonly spent this way for the brothers, for fate, being twisted as it was, had granted them the ultimate unforgiveable desire; the falling in love of two brothers. Abandoned by all but by their very closest friends, they suffered together and alone at the same time. Their forbidden love was a curse, a beautiful and precious curse; a desperate and painful curse. This thing had brought them so much pain, and yet, for moments like this, when they could hold each other for solace, it was all they lived for.  
They accepted that no one would understand, and those who did not accept their love could only understand the moral wrong of their relationship. What had once been a world of kind people, dull and blissfully unaware, but kind, Kouji and Kouichi could now only believe they lived in a world of monsters. Monsters that would stop at nothing to destroy their forbidden love, or the boys themselves, whichever they could destroy first.

The attacks never ceased. The onslaught of verbal and physical abuse from such demons was so much, too much for either to handle. At first, it was nothing more than the obvious; immediate parental disapproval. That, they thought they could handle. This was nothing, but then, it escaped beyond the homelife. Simple name calling arose from the hatred, and then more came to follow. Bruises were nothing nowadays; receiving an insignificant bruise was ultimately escaping from the lion's den with nothing more than a neat set of claw marks down your shirt. Fists, gangs, knives... they could not be left alone.  
This may have been tolerable if they had somewhere safe to retreat to; a refuge, a sanctuary. A home. However, theirs was no real home.  
Their own parents were ashamed at their relationship. The brothers viewed them as betrayers, as traitors, and just more viciousness, even though Kousei and Tomoko, even Satomi, regretfully accepted the fact that they were in love. But nothing changed the looks of embarrassment one caught in their eyes, and nothing could change the shame that burned in them, deep inside, when all they wished for was a pair of normal sons.

By a strike of good grace, Kouichi's junior high school performance had been so outstanding that he'd been accepted, for free to a fairly high quality private school. This prevented him from suffering the worst of the abuse; after all, at first, he was in a new school.  
Nobody knew about his sickness.  
However, one day, it got out. It got out in a horrible, serious way. These students were serious. They wouldn't tolerate this kind of thing in their school; it was unacceptable. The very notion of two BOYS together was bad enough, let alone two brothers.  
Kouichi's torment began, beginning with the first day, and his first warning, one of many to come. After many hours of frantic searching for a boy who'd been missing for hours, he had been found in an alleyway, his arm broken, unconcious, and blood slowly leaking from his mouth.  
There was no permanent brain damage, the arm healed, and Kouichi regained full consciousness. His tormenters were brought to justice, and maybe, his warnings from then on were much less severe. Nevertheless, they affected him. His eyes constantly held a dazed and blank sort of look, as though he were either asleep, or his mind was no where to be found.  
He was thought to be crazy. Sometimes, Kouichi thought he was too.  
Only around Kouji, only around the one person who still truly loved him, only in his brother's arms did his dead blue eyes shine and glisten with compassion.

Kouji was not so fortunate. He continued to go to his public school, overstocked with vicious students, where almost nothing could stop his torment. Teachers? Overworked, underpaid; unable to keep an eye on every single child, and unable to ensure that Kouji was never harmed. Sometimes they simply didn't care. Everyone knew about Minamoto Kouji, the incestuous faggot.  
They told him he was sick, perverted, twisted, and abnormal. They told him if he was into incest, he should at least fuck his mother; at least then eventually, some use would come out of it; a child. And then it could be used for research by scientists, because it would be so fucked up it could never grow up to be a normal person.  
Kouji couldn't get a part-time job in the city, even for so much as dog walking. It seemed like every one knew. Everyone knew that a boy having an incestuous relationship with his brother was probably capable of molesting a child, or committing bestiality, or at the very least, stealing. It was like everyone in the world was making damn sure that Kouji was miserable, and for so long, all this time, it seemed to be working.  
Every day he slunk home with a new injury, whether mental or physical, and the once proud boy with the mind of a man was slowly dwindled into an insecure child. He tried to fight back; he really did. He was proud, he was strong. He could fight them.  
He couldn't fight them forever.  
Now he didn't fight at all. Every single day, with no one to protect him, with no one who CARED...  
Except Kouichi. His life depended on his brother, and he felt as though Kouichi was a single glimpse of light in his life, where nothing else but darkness engulfed him. Nothing could change the fact that they loved each other; years of torture only brought them closer. Years of torture only opened their eyes even wider, and as they acknowledged that the world was a terrible, horrible, cruel place, they realized that the only solace they would ever find would be with each other.  
It was kind of ironic. All the torment, the cruelty, all of them despising their relationship merely strengthened it. The two brothers might have found this amusing, but they rarely laughed anymore. Hell, they rarely even smiled anymore. They rarely did anything anymore but sit in their room, and be.

They sat together now on Kouichi's bed, though more or less it was as much Kouji's as Kouichi's. Their parents had divorced, so many years ago, but now Kouichi and Kouji were shipped from their mother to their father, every few weeks. Kouichi, despite all the proof that no one in this world was really kind, wished so much to believe that it was their parents' hope that neither mother nor father be deprived of either son. But Kouji viewed differently, and unfortunately, he viewed the cold truth. Kousei and Tomoko switched the pair from one to the other, saving themselves from the torment as well, for the monsters in the world viewed the sins of Kouji and Kouichi the fault of their parents. By moving the boys from one home to another, Kousei and Tomoko received less torment. There was less vandalism, less attempted burglery, less practical jokes. There were less protestors standing in front of their lawn, demanding for the twins to be arrested, and admitted to an institution.

Kouichi tried. Kouji gave up long ago, but Kouichi tried. He tried to still believe that some people in this world of monsters were good people; there really were. Kouji was so broken, so unfixable, so torn apart inside that he was unable to believe in anything, but Kouichi gallantly tried.  
He tried until Kouji almost died.  
He tried until he was told that his brother was probably on his death bed. He tried until Kouji had been so brutally raped, and then so badly beaten, that it was easier to count his unbroken bones than his broken. He'd tried until he saw his brother, lying in a hospital bed, covered in blood, his face almost unrecognizable, struggling just to breathe, and nothing more.  
Kouji came through. Kouji needed reconstructive surgery to restructure his face, and in the end, it still wasn't just right. His brother had finally been scarred in the ultimate way; the monsters had taken away his identity. Even now, his eyes were always closed a little too tight, and his skin pinched a little too prominently under his eyes. His cheekbones were suddenly a little uneven. Everything, everything was all WRONG. It was result of a piss-poor plastic surgeon's handiwork. A more expensive doctor might have done better, but who would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a boy who had sex with his own brother?  
By ruining Kouji's face, they had ruined Kouichi's. They had stained a pair of once identical twins, to where even a perfect stranger could tell them apart. Kouichi felt as though he'd lost his identity on the day that Kouji had, and as Kouji suffered, psychologically tormented from the rape, which had been severe, Kouichi suffered too. He suffered as keenly as though he'd been the one taking the blows from a two-by-four, and as though he'd been the one who'd had a broomstick shoved inside of him. Faith dwindled in light of pain and hatred.  
Kouichi had given up. He did not believe that there was anyone in the world that was good, except for his brother. He refused to try anymore.

Kouji's cold, icy exterior spread to all, except Kouichi. He twisted into himself, a complete introvert, sometimes so focused inside his own mind that he would seem to be drifting in and out of catatonia. He never forgot; he never forgot a single beating, a single name-caller, a single punch, a single sickened glare. He absorbed it all, and he remembered it all, especially the attack. Especially being violated with a broomstick handle after being violated by three vicious, hateful boys, and especially having his face simply shattered upon impact, all as the boys said, "You deserve to die, bitch. The world doesn't deserve the punishment of having you on it."

They still loved. Through it all, no matter what it was, they loved. For five cold years, a knife was being forced into their hearts. And for five, long years, they healed each other's heart, again and again, even as the knife pushed itself deeper. Flesh would grow around it, trying to lessen the pain, and then it would twist; ripping a whole new hole. Their hearts were so damaged now, and so ruined; it almost was physically painful for them to continue beating. Their forbidden love was all that kept them alive, although it was what was killing them. The irony of life is so cruel, and so beautiful.

"Kouji..." Kouichi muttered into his brother's ear. Sweet darkness surrounded the boys now, after they had sat with each other for so long, holding desperately onto each other. Time meant nothing. The boys did nothing but stay together, protecting each other from the monsters. They were always afraid to leave each other.  
Kouji buried his face into his beautiful lover's neck, but looked upward to meet his brother's eyes. Even now, it pained him to realize a once perfect thing, two perfectly identical beings conceived and born together, was ruined, all because of monsters. He no longer saw his face in Kouichi's. His was ugly, ruined; he felt the need to punch any mirror he happened to spot, just to shatter that face that should not be his.  
"It's never going to stop, is it?" Kouichi whispered, his words trembling. Warm tears slid onto Kouji's forehead as they seeped down his brother's face. Kouji's eyes clenched shut and he took a shaky breath to steady himself. Faces didn't matter right now. What did matter right now...He lightly kissed Kouichi's tear strewn cheek and hugged him closer.  
"It's just no use..."  
"Kouichi," Kouji said, barely above a whisper. "I...I think that it's time."  
Kouichi quietly released a sob. "No...there must be...one more day."  
"We can't, Nii-san," Kouji muttered. "We've held off so long, we just keep making excuses."  
"Something, there must be something-"  
"You know, Nii-san. There's nothing. Nothing but you and me. We need...to stop." He tried to clench his eyes to stop the flow of tears, but they continued. He only opened them again as he felt Kouji's lips kissing away his tears, his fingers lacing with his lover's. Kouichi weakly nodded. He knew; he knew as well as Kouji did. He was afraid; afraid of death, afraid of letting go of the life he'd been clinging to so strongly all this time.  
Kouji brushed his lips against Kouichi's, only pecking them before standing. He immediately almost fell to the ground; he was weak. He couldn't remember the last time he ate.  
"It's okay, 'touto-chan. I'll help you." With the utmost of care, Kouichi slowly lifted his brother into his arms, carefully and slowly walking towards the bathroom. Kouji clutched onto his brother and nuzzled himself into his chest, blandly looking over his room, Kouichi's room, for what was to be the final time. It was where he spent most of his world, and none of it meant anything to him. His world was, and had always been Kouichi. His world before now had been a horrible place, but soon, it would be different.  
"Do you have it?" Kouichi whispered to Kouji. He was opening the door into the bathroom, opening the door into eternity for them.  
He simply nodly, his eyes half lidded and glimmering with held back tears. He slid out of his brother's arms, and at first just leaned on him for support. Seconds later, they embraced fiercly, aching to feel each other. There wasn't much time.

The bathtub was filled slowly, with steaming hot water. Puffs of vapor slowly lifted into the silent air, and the rapid waterfall made a wonderfully calming, monotonous sound as the pouring water joined the pool below. A single candle was lit; the tiniest light in a world of utter darkness. It fought in vain to shed light upon the boys, and it failed. The shadows merely taunted it, and its single, pitiful light was not strong enough to win.  
The two brothers sat on the floor, cradled in each other's arms, stroking and caressing each other. At first, there was no kissing. They simply wanted to feel each other, to memorize each other in the darkness. In this wonderful, neverending blackness, Kouji had no bruises, and his face was perfect. Kouichi's eyes shined; they sparkled.  
Their fingers ran through each other's dark ebony hair, their tongues dancing together slowly. The tub was almost full when they finally undressed themselves, doing nothing to stop the tears that fell now. Kouichi weakly tried to protest again, but he was effectively silenced by his brother, who tenderly kissed him again.  
This was the way to sanctuary. It was their only choice. It was all they had left.  
Kouji continued stroking Kouichi's cheek with a single finger, and with the other hand, removed a sharp, wide knife from his back pocket. Kouichi's eyes were drawn to the knife as it was placed on the edge of the tub. Kouji took his hand and smiled for his brother; and they both stood up again, slowly moving into the steaming water.  
Once in, they allowed their hands freedom to search one another's inviting bodies. Nude, they were no stranger to each other, but together for the last time, both boys wished to permanently imprint everlasting pictures of their lovers into their minds, no matter how shortly they would be leaving them.  
Eyes closed, Kouji sweetly caressed his brother's nude body with his soft and firm hands, still smiling sadly. Kouichi took to using his tongue, passionately tracing the lines of muscle on his lover's body. Their twin pale and creamy white skin flushed pink as they aroused each other, and Kouji's waterfall of black hair was sticking to his nape from his profuse sweating. Every so often Kouichi would hit a bruise, but the pain was almost sweet; it was like a reminder of what he was leaving behind.  
Their lips brushed and they sighed happily as they kissed. It was then that they both realized how little time was left for either, and holding together closer, they kissed more passionately then ever before, making love to each other with their tongues. It was so important, so urgent that as much as they could, as passionately as they could, they told each other how they felt. Their minds gently intertwined, almost subconsciously; they truly felt each other. They stood still. Time stood still. With their minds so connected, so perfectly, they knew everything they ever wanted to say to one another. Words did not need to be said. They knew. Nothing more happened for what seemed like ages until Kouji again began to caress his lover's body, and Kouichi did the same. Once again, their eyes were dead-on matches, navy piercing navy, locking on to each other as each continued his own ministration. It was all so perfect. It was the perfect way to die. Kouichi finally broke the connection with a loud moan as Kouji began to stroke his arousal.

Kouji closed his eyes and nuzzled his face across Kouichi's shoulder to wipe away his tears. Kouichi held him, breathing deeply onto him, still trying to reestablish that connection with his brother.  
Kouji repositioned himself. He leaned against the back of the tub, his legs straight out in front of him. He was working on his stiff rod, inviting his bother to sit on top of it; that would be easiest. Kouichi slowly positioned himself above Kouji's groin, standing on his knees before sitting back a few inches below Kouji's thighs. They kissed again, savoring each other, drowning with another. Under the steaming water, Kouichi's hands joined his brothers in massaging Kouji's erect length. Kouji was busy preparing his brother, so cautious not to cause pain, so eager to provide him with one, last, wonderful time together. Both moved slowly, careful not to waste a single feeling, not a single emotion. Almost scalding hot water brushed their bodies with every movement, and increased the heat they felt for each other.  
They would've continued forever, but procrastination would've merely cause them more pain. They had to hurry; they had to feel this now, so they could leave this world feeling, for once, content.  
Kouichi was weeping; he was afraid. He was afraid of death, and he was afraid of what would come afterwards. But his brother did not seem fazed by death; he placed his hands on Kouichi's thighs and positioned himself, before slowly pushing into his brother. Kouichi half gasped and half sobbed at the action, but it was sweet; it was familiar. He loved taking his brother, no matter what anyone else thought. He wrapped his arms around his brother and held him tightly, focusing on good it felt now rather than what it might feel like later. Kouji paused a few seconds, before slowly pulling himself away, then in again. Kouichi clung to his brother, resting his chin on his shoulders; breathing deeply. He was calm. Kouji was calm. They were just making love; they liked making love. It was one of the few things that gave them pleasure out of life. Why not enjoy it?

Kouji repeated his actions again and again, gradually moving faster and pausing less. He clutched his brother's body as he moved, baking in the heat radiating from his lover's body and the water they sat in. Their minds filled with their love and lust for each other, and nevermind what was to come. The moans and cries becoming frequent, desperate. The knowledge that this would end soon, too soon, fueled them. Pleasure soared. It had never before been so intense. Water splashed to the floor in waves from their movement, and yet the darkness surrounding them remained absolute.  
Kouichi still moved in time with his brother, but now, he was eyeing the forgotten knife resting on the edge of the tub. Kouji's body began to shake under him; whether from his approaching climax or the thought of what was about to come, perhaps not even Kouji was sure. Kouichi's arm trembled as he grabbed hold of the knife, and he brought his lips to Kouji's once again. He took Kouji's hand in his at the same time, and brought the knife down to his wrist with the other hand.  
Kouji's thrusting held for a few more seconds, before he loudly cried out as he reached his final climax, completely releasing everything he had inside his brother. His grunts and cries of pleasure were not at all exaggerated; even he hadn't known he could reach such a height with his brother. This was not simply an orgasm; this was the greatest confirmation of life.  
He hugged Kouichi close with his left hand, as his brother took the knife and his right. He hesitated for a second, just a second, and then he sliced the thin skin on his arm, all the way to the bend of his elbow, and then, just for the sake of it, his wrist. Blood immediately seeped up from the wound, swirling in the warm water and dying it. Kouji realized that it wasn't at all so bad; why, it even actually felt pretty good.  
Kouichi moaned as Kouji began to massage his arousal while he took the knife from him. Kouichi knew he couldn't do it to himself, and Kouji knew it too. He felt that warm blade at his arm, waiting, just waiting.  
His brother's firm hand worked at him, and his climax was barreling down on him, so fast. He tried to hold off; the longer he waited, the longer he lived. But he couldn't...he couldn't hold it. Mind engulfed in fog, he was sure he screamed as he came, when he reached the ultimate high, and the knife slit open his own wrist, before it raked a bloody trail up his arm. The remnant of his passion and his blood gushed into the water; and though his seed lasted only a few seconds before dissipating, his blood swirled with the water, combined with his brother's, and dyed it, a marvelous, passionate red.

Their arms poured blood, and they contentedly nuzzled each other. There really was no pain; there was only relief, and finally, contentment. They would leave this world after achieving what was quite possibly the ultimate nirvana, and for both of them, this was satisfactory. Frail and slow they lifted their heads to kiss again, one last time, and Kouji laced his fingers with Kouichi's. Even now, still, scarlet stains dripped down their arms and mixed with each other on their skin. Fierce pain was registering with them now, but they were still high from their orgasms; they didn't care.

A man once said that life passes before your eyes before you die, but it is unlikely that when he said this, he was dying by his own means, lovingly cradled by his brother and lover. Neither of the two boys in the tub reminisced about their lives, and frankly, neither of them wanted to. All that existed, all that mattered, was that they were together, in this wonderful, forgiving darkness, and that everything was okay.  
It was all okay.

Kouji closed his eyes, his vision already gone, his breathing slowing to nothing. He would go first. He clung to his brother, trying to reassure him. They would meet on the other side soon; it wouldn't take long. He just didn't want his brother to be afraid. He wanted Kouichi to know that he wasn't going alone; he wanted him to know that he was safe. Kouichi knew, and he was not afraid.  
"Ototou-chan," he whispered to his fading brother, "I love you Kouji. I have no regrets, 'totou. I love you."  
Kouji could hardly lift his head. He managed to whisper, in one, whispy breath, "Love you..." before he was still. He would never move in this world again.  
Kouichi stared upward into the darkness, before he too laid his head on his brother. He was still so warm. He might have been sleeping. It was still so comforting to be craddled by his brother.  
He had lied. In a small, insignificant part of his mind, he did regret. He did not, however, regret his love with his brother; he simply regretted that he might never live again.  
But what was this life, anyway? None of it mattered. All it had ever brought was pain. He fully believed in another life after death, and he knew he could forever be with Kouji; that was more than enough. He knew that in this new life, after this old, terrible one, there would be forgiveness. And finally, there would be peace.

His eyes were still staring lovingly at Kouji's peaceful face when he too died, and without support, both of their bodies drooped into the dark red water. All was silent in the everlasting darkness, and it blanketed them, comforting, as the candle suffocated itself. No matter what became of their bodies afterwards, this would be their final resting place; shroud in darkness, bathing in bloody water, continuing to comfort each other; their stained, bloody fingers still laced together in love, even in death.


End file.
